dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
