So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize