maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
