i can't believe i had my finger in that
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
