one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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