I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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