Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
