I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i love accidental penises.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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