I want to make a zoo with you.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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