windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
