we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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