can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
i think my cat just said my name.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
