dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
