I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
