but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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