Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
