So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
