My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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