worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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