My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
