I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize