I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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