we have pet lesbian snakes
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize