Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
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He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
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We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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