I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
