I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
