Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
