Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
