so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
