im drinking this country out of the recession.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
