Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
