even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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