i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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