That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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