Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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