I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
