i already hear my dad disowning me
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
