I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
