I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
