Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
