Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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