Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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