2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
