I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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