Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
