i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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