just come out here and I will go home with you...
Everything about him screamed your future.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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