White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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