evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
