Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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