Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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