Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
