Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize