since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
