Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
