how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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