I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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