so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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